The myth that you either have self-esteem or you don’t is utterly ridiculous. Because, self-esteem is something that you essentially learn throughout your life! It cannot be understood or defined in the binary of “having it” and “not having it”. This is not only unfair to many (all of us) people who are going through that process but it is also very misleading for young children. Lack of self-esteem is a prominent reason why people fall into depression and suffer anxiety. So, when we propagate a myth like this one, we are in fact telling a lot of people that they can never be cured. Do you think that’s fair? The fair thing to do is to not speak about something you do not have complete knowledge about.

You cannot buy self-esteem. You have to go through the process.
You cannot buy self-esteem. You have to go through the process.

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Self-esteem is something we learn because of and in spite of our experiences. Our interactions with the environment (including people) and our reaction to those interactions together help us learn what we call self-esteem. When you lose or when you fail, you can start by looking at it as an opportunity to improve. This is a crucial step of learning self-esteem. No result can ever define your worth as a human. Only YOU get to decide that through your actions and your leanings.

It is imperative to understand that there is no training for self-esteem. It is something you can only learn through your natural experiences and interactions. It is an evolving process. Positive experiences will increase your self-esteem. Negative ones might decrease it, if only you allow it to.

Self-esteem does not have a switch on and off button like light bulb. But you have to acknowledge its light and feel warm in its learning.
Self-esteem does not have a switch on and off button like light bulb. But you have to acknowledge its light and feel warm in its learning.

Image Credit: Pexels.com

Sometimes, when you are rejected, it is a common tendency to feel unwanted and disliked. Rejection can take a toll on your self-esteem. But it does not mean you DID NOT have it to begin with. You did. You still do. You are just going through a tough phase. The best thing to do in times like that is to surround yourself with people who love you. The people who you do not have to seek acceptance from! That is the kind of experience your self-esteem demands at that point of time. As I have been saying, it is an evolving process and it is all about EXPERIENCES.